Your habits are formed as shortcuts (learned behaviours). One habit you probably have is knowing how to pick something up with your fingers. You don’t need to think about each movement involved: opening your fingers, putting them around the object, closing them firmly (or loosely) and then lifting. You automatically know what to do and how to do it.
Self-confidence is built on self-awareness. I have discovered – many times over – that clients who develop their interceptive skills live powerfully authentic lives. It is this internal self-awareness that allows you to consider whether you:
follow your heart;
listen to your gut; or
sit with your thoughts.
Prefer to watch the video, rather than read this blog post?
But this is not a multiple-choice question where there is only one “right answer”. You build trust and confidence in yourself when you align yourself (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values and passions) with your actions.
Your sense of self is much greater than just your brain and mind, and you are not your thoughts, emotions, or even your actions. If you delve into this, you will notice you are the thinker, feeler and doer!
I always feel like I walk a thin line between being “nice” and being truly kind. Old me is a burnt-out people pleaser. To be authentic in relationships with people that used to know me before I started this journey is an ongoing lesson! See, with new acquaintances, it’s easier: they have no expectations of what I will be like or how I will express myself. But in older relationships, I still have to catch myself.
Be authentic! Stop acting and pretending, stop fawning and being “nice and polite” in socially acceptable ways. Instead, remember to show up as the kinder version of you.