Most of us have emotional triggers that we aren’t aware of until we blow up or “lose it”. These learned responses helped us to survive unpleasant situations (often in our childhood). Unfortunately, those very habits (cues/triggers, course of action or response, and rewards) that allowed us to survive in childhood now sabotage or hamper our growth and relationships.
I’m not talking about PTSD triggers: those are at another level, where it’s not merely a habit. These triggers actually require deeper assistance, such as therapy.
These habitual responses are survival tactics, often learned in our childhood. I adeptly overlook and sidestep the bigger issues when I ignore the hidden rewards of my habits. The slowing down of 2020 gave us much needed time to sit and do the inner work of looking at our survival tactics.
Even 2021 has shown me (especially on social media) how I respond to certain types of posts and comments. There are people that I have been tempted to block “for my peace of mind”. Nonetheless, my commitment to healing and working on myself continues. So, I decided that rather than block them (or engage or shoot back), I would make time to actually look at where I have lost my freedom to respond gracefully.
There are so many things that stop us from living the life of our dreams, but are you expecting challenges on your journey? When we expect obstacles, foreseeing them – we do a better job of ensuring success and completion!
I’m not talking about the obstacles of waiting for the right time or needing to feel ready. I invite you to consider actual obstacles that you encounter once you allow yourself to dream and plan. Things like not making your goal a priority and failing to schedule enough time to work on it. Or failing to commit and have accountability for the duration of the project.
I talked in my last blog post how you might feel overloaded or overwhelmed – tired, forgetful, irritable and apathetic! Our current lifestyles have us busy multi-tasking. Our brains are working overtime! There is physical clutter, mental clutter, and scheduling clutter! In order to clear the clutter, we need to tackle head-on the ways in which we are choosing overload.
If we want to reclaim some control, we need to make some changes in the way that we choose.
Growing up, I remember my mum remonstrating that there simply were not enough hours in a day! As a sometimes overloaded, over-committed single mother, professional and volunteer, I have those very same moments!
I lament, at times, that days blur into each other, as I fail to stop and smell the roses. Days when it feels like there are simply not enough hours to get it all done. And then, when I finally have the time, where did my energy and focus go?
But I had ignored them, blaming them on my auto-immune disease (Celiac). I continued pushing myself. I blamed the chronic low-grade stress in my life on my illness. And I mistakenly thought that my problem was my mindset, time management, and the need to establish clearer priorities. Continue reading Burnout: discovering meaning, passion & purpose