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Hyper-independence makes you miserable: ask for better support

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I grew up in the eighties and nineties when “girls can do anything” was our everyday motto. This strong drive for independent women had shaped so many facets of my life that I failed to notice when I crossed the line from an independent woman into hyper-independence.

I struggle to ask for help.

Worse yet, I fail to accept support and connection from others and then will be the first to complain, “why do I have to do everything myself?”.

Hyper-independence is not a virtue. It may look like one of my strengths, but it is my Achilles heel.  Continue reading Hyper-independence makes you miserable: ask for better support

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Be authentic: consciously author your life with creativity

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Most of us think of creativity as solely referring to artists: painters, musicians, writers, or even architects. They are so creative. I beg to differ. I believe that to be authentic requires that we each live from a place of creativity.

Grant Soosalu and Marvin Oka put it best in their book mBraining: creativity is the quality of consciousness from which you author your life. Continue reading Be authentic: consciously author your life with creativity

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Accountability: how to get better results

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Last year I trialled a new coaching program with clients for Ditch the Diet & Face the Feelings. It gave clients the option of three 20-minute accountability calls each week rather than one weekly coaching call.  The results from it were astounding for those clients used to dieting and weekly weigh-ins.

Why?

Because the weekly accountability calls enable them to fudge the process as they would with a diet: to follow it only for the two or three days before the call, rather than living the process every day of the week. Continue reading Accountability: how to get better results

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Do the inner work: how to focus on your feelings

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It’s easy to get caught up trying to focus on change without doing the inner work. We want the quick fix: tell me what I need to do to get the results I’m looking for.

A lot of coaching is performance-based, which is great for short-term goals and wins.  This coaching will often provide you with tools and habits that you can integrate long-term for life changes. However, it’s easy to get the win and then fall back into old habits. This is the difference, in part, between transactional versus transformational coaching.

While the inner work coaching that I do works great for short-term goals and wins, the real benefits are the long term changes that happen as you integrate wisdom into your life.  Continue reading Do the inner work: how to focus on your feelings

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Overcoming fear: how to find the hidden treasures

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At age 22, I learned my first conscious and intentional life lesson in overcoming fear: you never actually stop being afraid. But that doesn’t have to paralyse you, leaving you frozen and unable to move.

Heights terrified me, anything more than five to six feet off the ground and I froze. As a kid, I still climbed trees, not entirely enjoying the experience, but too proud to admit my fear.

Don’t ask me to clean the gutters or paint the roof. Continue reading Overcoming fear: how to find the hidden treasures