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Authentic: how to be your glorious self, not a people pleaser

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I always feel like I walk a thin line between being “nice” and being truly kind. Old me is a burnt-out people pleaser. To be authentic in relationships with people that used to know me before I started this journey is an ongoing lesson! See, with new acquaintances, it’s easier: they have no expectations of what I will be like or how I will express myself.  But in older relationships, I still have to catch myself.

Be authentic!
Stop acting and pretending, stop fawning and being “nice and polite” in socially acceptable ways. Instead, remember to show up as the kinder version of you.

Continue reading Authentic: how to be your glorious self, not a people pleaser

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Do the inner work: how to focus on your feelings

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It’s easy to get caught up trying to focus on change without doing the inner work. We want the quick fix: tell me what I need to do to get the results I’m looking for.

A lot of coaching is performance-based, which is great for short-term goals and wins.  This coaching will often provide you with tools and habits that you can integrate long-term for life changes. However, it’s easy to get the win and then fall back into old habits. This is the difference, in part, between transactional versus transformational coaching.

While the inner work coaching that I do works great for short-term goals and wins, the real benefits are the long term changes that happen as you integrate wisdom into your life.  Continue reading Do the inner work: how to focus on your feelings

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Brutally honest: how about we try being sincere with compassion?

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Professional and personal communication is one of my biggest challenges. As an INTJ, I can be brutally honest, speaking my mind without sensing the effect my words and tone have on others.  I just blurt out what I want to communicate without considering whether it’s the right time or place to do so.

I’ve found I have better skills when I write it all out in an email or written correspondence. But this misses many nuances and can be misunderstood.

At the other end of the spectrum, I clam up when the emotional environment hits like a battering ram. Continue reading Brutally honest: how about we try being sincere with compassion?

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Overcoming fear: how to find the hidden treasures

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At age 22, I learned my first conscious and intentional life lesson in overcoming fear: you never actually stop being afraid. But that doesn’t have to paralyse you, leaving you frozen and unable to move.

Heights terrified me, anything more than five to six feet off the ground and I froze. As a kid, I still climbed trees, not entirely enjoying the experience, but too proud to admit my fear.

Don’t ask me to clean the gutters or paint the roof. Continue reading Overcoming fear: how to find the hidden treasures

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Inner Conflict: resolving with mBraining

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Inner conflict shows up in so many ways, shapes and forms. Some say that the more mental beliefs, ideals, expectations, and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict.

Sometimes, it is a mental conflict, such as a cognitive dissonance — inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes.

Other times, it feels worse: caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, this is what I “should” do, but this is what I want to do.  Or perhaps, you even want both things, they just seem to be diametrically opposed to each other. Confused about the options and choices you are faced with, you wonder how to resolve the conundrum. Continue reading Inner Conflict: resolving with mBraining