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How to be aware of your triggers and concealed rewards

aware, awareness, avoidance, avoiding, balanced heart, belief triggers, brain, choices, coach, coaching, compassion, compulsion, courage, creativity, decision making process, desire, emotional eating, emotions, failure, fear, feelings, growth, habits, healing, inner peace, learning, living the life of your dreams, passion, patterns, peace, procrastination, reason, sabotage, self-preservation, self-worth, thrive, triggers, wisdom

Most of us have emotional triggers that we aren’t aware of until we blow up or “lose it”. These learned responses helped us to survive unpleasant situations (often in our childhood).  Unfortunately, those very habits (cues/triggers, course of action or response, and rewards) that allowed us to survive in childhood now sabotage or hamper our growth and relationships.

I’m not talking about PTSD triggers: those are at another level, where it’s not merely a habit. These triggers actually require deeper assistance, such as therapy.

These habitual responses are survival tactics, often learned in our childhood. I adeptly overlook and sidestep the bigger issues when I ignore the hidden rewards of my habits.  The slowing down of 2020 gave us much needed time to sit and do the inner work of looking at our survival tactics.

Be grateful for triggers: they point where you are not free. -Anonymous
Be grateful for triggers: they point where you are not free. -Anonymous

Even 2021 has shown me (especially on social media) how I respond to certain types of posts and comments. There are people that I have been tempted to block “for my peace of mind”. Nonetheless, my commitment to healing and working on myself continues. So, I decided that rather than block them (or engage or shoot back), I would make time to actually look at where I have lost my freedom to respond gracefully.

Continue reading How to be aware of your triggers and concealed rewards

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Security and safety: change is a daring adventure

Helen Keller
“Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

Is our need to stay in the security of our comfort zone overrated? We know that change is constant and inevitable, yet most of us resist change. We even resist the change that is for our good.

When things are bad, we are quick to accept that things are continually changing and will get better. Nonetheless, when things are going well, we try to convince ourselves that things will stay as they are. Even so, change happens, whether we like it or not.

It can be unrelenting: changes in the economy, life marches on, relationships in flux as people grow and move on.

Continue reading Security and safety: change is a daring adventure

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Absolutely love my body at 47 years old!

absolutely love my body, learning to love myself, ideal weight, inner energy, inner eating, emotional eating, stuffing down emotions, creativity, courage, bold, intuitive, committed, in flow, courageous, aware, resilient

More than eighteen months ago, shortly after being certified as an mBIT Coach, I started the process of learning Innergetics with Shirley Billigmeier (author of Inner Eating) and Suzanne Henwood (mBIT Master Coach and Master Trainer). Innergetics takes the process of inner wisdom of mBraining and focuses it onto your relationship with food. I like to say it uses eating as a thermometer of what is happening in your life. So, I chose to study Innergetics because I wanted to focus on my gut-brain (enteric brain). I was regularly suffering from bloating and discomfort, looking to find a way to love my body again. Continue reading Absolutely love my body at 47 years old!

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How to separate decision-making from problem-solving

decision-making versus problem-solving, how to separate your decision-making from problem-solving, making a wise decision, choosing what you want, preparing your plans, plans and goals, separating the what from the how, how to plan your goals, how to get what you want,, identifying the problem to solve, is this a problem to solve or a decision to make, an alternative vision, if I could solve the how, best possible solution, creativity, logic, analysis, courageous action, moving forward, compassionate choice, values, what is important, the right choice, analysis, logic, think outside the box

Recently, I was putting off some crucial decisions about how I wanted to move forward in my life. And it’s not that I haven’t been looking at the issues and contemplating what I wanted. But I felt stuck.  Then, I came across a question in Wendy Craig-Purcell’s book “Ask Yourself This“, and realised my dilemma. I was mixing up problem-solving with decision-making.  

The question she asked as “If I could solve the “how”, what would I do?” Continue reading How to separate decision-making from problem-solving

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Burnout: discovering meaning, passion & purpose

I recently wrote a blog post on my personal blog about the road to burnout.  The signs, signals, and symptoms that burnout was around the corner were obvious:“When you’re burnt out, you often no longer see yourself as an agent of change in your own life. It feels like all your efforts and your choices no longer impact your outcomes.” Emilie Aries, surviving to thriving

  • exhausted
  • energy depletion
  • mentally distant
  • problems “getting the job done”
  • sense of failure & self-doubt
  • insomnia & chronic fatigue
  • constantly falling ill
  • emotional exhaustion
  • anger issues, cynicism
  • depression & anxiety
  • forgetfulness & inability to concentrate
  • withdrawal

But I had ignored them, blaming them on my auto-immune disease (Celiac). I continued pushing myself. I blamed the chronic low-grade stress in my life on my illness. And I mistakenly thought that my problem was my mindset, time management, and the need to establish clearer priorities. Continue reading Burnout: discovering meaning, passion & purpose