Most of us have emotional triggers that we aren’t aware of until we blow up or “lose it”. These learned responses helped us to survive unpleasant situations (often in our childhood). Unfortunately, those very habits (cues/triggers, course of action or response, and rewards) that allowed us to survive in childhood now sabotage or hamper our growth and relationships.
I’m not talking about PTSD triggers: those are at another level, where it’s not merely a habit. These triggers actually require deeper assistance, such as therapy.
These habitual responses are survival tactics, often learned in our childhood. I adeptly overlook and sidestep the bigger issues when I ignore the hidden rewards of my habits. The slowing down of 2020 gave us much needed time to sit and do the inner work of looking at our survival tactics.
Even 2021 has shown me (especially on social media) how I respond to certain types of posts and comments. There are people that I have been tempted to block “for my peace of mind”. Nonetheless, my commitment to healing and working on myself continues. So, I decided that rather than block them (or engage or shoot back), I would make time to actually look at where I have lost my freedom to respond gracefully.
The more I delve into great decision-making, the more I realise the importance of alignment and self-awareness. If you want to make better decisions: know thyself!
It’s easy to think that a great decision is a choice of the best option available to us: “what do I think this might be?” But great choices take into account so much more than just good ideas.
In the corporate setting: they don’t just get the best immediate result for the bottom line or take into account your financial interests or marketing plan.
To make better decisions, find your compass.
There are many challenges to making great decisions, but some of them can be avoided with the right tools. Most of the tools I mention are ones you already know. Hopefully, you’ve already done this work. Better yet, you update and view this regularly. These tools to knowing yourself are values, passions & vision.
Confused by all the suggestions that you should lead from the heart, but be careful following your heart? Of course, some recommend that the only way to find happiness is to follow your heart. Others caution that following your heart leads to disaster. What happens if you lead with compassion?
Inner conflict shows up in so many ways, shapes and forms. Some say that the more mental beliefs, ideals, expectations, and desires we have, the more likely we are to suffer from internal conflict.
Sometimes, it is a mental conflict, such as a cognitive dissonance — inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes.
Other times, it feels worse: caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, this is what I “should” do, but this is what I want to do. Or perhaps, you even want both things, they just seem to be diametrically opposed to each other. Confused about the options and choices you are faced with, you wonder how to resolve the conundrum. Continue reading Inner Conflict: resolving with mBraining
In 2012 Grant Soosalu & Marvin Oka published mBraining: Using your multiple brains to do cool stuff. This book studies in depth the scientific knowledge that is finally catching up with esoteric and spiritual traditions (ancient wisdom) that are, in many cases, thousands of years old, introducing a new coaching style called mBIT: multiple Brain Integration Techniques.
This book and the techniques that they introduced answered a fundamental dilemma that most of us are faced with at one moment or another: