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Do the inner work: how to focus on your feelings

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It’s easy to get caught up trying to focus on change without doing the inner work. We want the quick fix: tell me what I need to do to get the results I’m looking for.

A lot of coaching is performance-based, which is great for short-term goals and wins.  This coaching will often provide you with tools and habits that you can integrate long-term for life changes. However, it’s easy to get the win and then fall back into old habits. This is the difference, in part, between transactional versus transformational coaching.

While the inner work coaching that I do works great for short-term goals and wins, the real benefits are the long term changes that happen as you integrate wisdom into your life.  Continue reading Do the inner work: how to focus on your feelings

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How to be aware of your triggers and concealed rewards

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Most of us have emotional triggers that we aren’t aware of until we blow up or “lose it”. These learned responses helped us to survive unpleasant situations (often in our childhood).  Unfortunately, those very habits (cues/triggers, course of action or response, and rewards) that allowed us to survive in childhood now sabotage or hamper our growth and relationships.

I’m not talking about PTSD triggers: those are at another level, where it’s not merely a habit. These triggers actually require deeper assistance, such as therapy.

These habitual responses are survival tactics, often learned in our childhood. I adeptly overlook and sidestep the bigger issues when I ignore the hidden rewards of my habits.  The slowing down of 2020 gave us much needed time to sit and do the inner work of looking at our survival tactics.

Be grateful for triggers: they point where you are not free. -Anonymous
Be grateful for triggers: they point where you are not free. -Anonymous

Even 2021 has shown me (especially on social media) how I respond to certain types of posts and comments. There are people that I have been tempted to block “for my peace of mind”. Nonetheless, my commitment to healing and working on myself continues. So, I decided that rather than block them (or engage or shoot back), I would make time to actually look at where I have lost my freedom to respond gracefully.

Continue reading How to be aware of your triggers and concealed rewards

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Want significant results? Talk less and do more.

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With so much happening today on social media, it’s easy to get caught up talking about what we want to do and our dreams, without actually putting in the work! Significant results require action – not just a good idea and certainly not just telling others about what we want to do!

The rubber meets the road when we take that dream for our life or business and consistently work towards it. More often than not, it’s not just one step. It’s a series of many small steps. Perhaps failures and life lessons. Sometimes that road to significant results is long and a tough haul!

Talking about your dreams can either help or harm you! There’s no point talking about it if you aren’t taking intentional action!

Continue reading Want significant results? Talk less and do more.

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Burnout: discovering meaning, passion & purpose

I recently wrote a blog post on my personal blog about the road to burnout.  The signs, signals, and symptoms that burnout was around the corner were obvious:“When you’re burnt out, you often no longer see yourself as an agent of change in your own life. It feels like all your efforts and your choices no longer impact your outcomes.” Emilie Aries, surviving to thriving

  • exhausted
  • energy depletion
  • mentally distant
  • problems “getting the job done”
  • sense of failure & self-doubt
  • insomnia & chronic fatigue
  • constantly falling ill
  • emotional exhaustion
  • anger issues, cynicism
  • depression & anxiety
  • forgetfulness & inability to concentrate
  • withdrawal

But I had ignored them, blaming them on my auto-immune disease (Celiac). I continued pushing myself. I blamed the chronic low-grade stress in my life on my illness. And I mistakenly thought that my problem was my mindset, time management, and the need to establish clearer priorities. Continue reading Burnout: discovering meaning, passion & purpose

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SMART Goals: transforming dreams

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Many of us wait until the scramble of December 31st or the ease of the day on January 1st to work on our plans for the New Year.  Is that really smart?

Don’t settle just for a New Year’s resolution heading into 2019.  Your intentions should be so much more than simply

“Out of sight – out of mind.”

Play it smart!

Continue reading SMART Goals: transforming dreams