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Practical creativity: how you create and experience your world

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Your brain is a meaning-making machine. At all times, your imagination and creativity are actively creating scenarios and potential outcomes in your head. How you experience your world is mostly a creation of your perspective and beliefs.

breaking the cybernetic loop, interrupting your cybernetic loop, feelings, thinking, physiological, external behaviour, your feelings influence your thinking, physical state

While situations create emotions, our thoughts and beliefs about a problem often run the show. I previously shared the cybernetic loop in a blog post about how stress and anxiety block decision-making.

Practical creativity recognises your mind’s role in how you experience your world: what do you want to create? 

You can awfulise and catastrophe: allowing your inner critic to judge and tell you all that is wrong with you. Your anxiety and stress limits can be pushed by imagining the worst-case scenario. Your relationships can be strained by thinking the worst.

You might go the other way and dissociate into fantasy, creating in your mind an idyllic scenario where everything is perfect. Do nothing. And nothing changes.

Or you stay present and look at yourself and others through the eyes of compassion, practising the self-awareness of emotional intelligence and creating opportunities to change the situation and your relationships for the better. Continue reading Practical creativity: how you create and experience your world

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Juggle your joys: values and priorities, do what you love

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A friend recently commented, “You always impress with how smoothly you handle so many loads“. She then corrected herself, “I know they are joys”. And they are. My “so many loads” align with my values and priorities.

I love coaching clients and thrive on investing my time with other coaches and helping professionals in book clubs. Spending time with my daughter and ensuring I attend school and children’s events is essential. I carve out time for writing and creativity. And I make it a priority to continue learning and growing, surrounding myself with people that are also on a growth journey. Continue reading Juggle your joys: values and priorities, do what you love

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25 authentic questions to evaluate yourself this year

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The new year is approaching, and it’s time to look back and take stock of how far you’ve come, planning your goals for the future. Before you start your vision board or planning, here are 25 authentic questions to ask yourself:

Five authentic questions on vision and purpose:

  1. Have I clearly defined for myself my vision and purpose?
  2. Did I set clear goals for myself at the beginning of this year and make a plan for this year to fulfil these goals?
  3. Was I persistent in following my dreams through to completion?
  4. When my plans met with failure, did I regroup and adopt a new method to fulfil my vision and purpose?
  5. Did I use my vision and purpose to help me make effective decisions, aligning my decision-making with my priorities?

Continue reading 25 authentic questions to evaluate yourself this year

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Author your life: make choices for authentic relationships

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With so much talk about living authentically, we seem to have forgotten the origin of the word “authentic”. Etymologically, it derives from “one acting on one’s authority” – from the reflexive “auto” – self, one’s own, by oneself, of oneself. If authentic, you author your life, acting on your authority. 

On the other hand, most of us get stuck trying to find our way back to “our authentic self” – as if there were some original, static version of self that we could find and refer to.

If only I were true to that version of me, I would be authentic!

Continue reading Author your life: make choices for authentic relationships

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Hyper-independence makes you miserable: ask for better support

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I grew up in the eighties and nineties when “girls can do anything” was our everyday motto. This strong drive for independent women had shaped so many facets of my life that I failed to notice when I crossed the line from an independent woman into hyper-independence.

I struggle to ask for help.

Worse yet, I fail to accept support and connection from others and then will be the first to complain, “why do I have to do everything myself?”.

Hyper-independence is not a virtue. It may look like one of my strengths, but it is my Achilles heel.  Continue reading Hyper-independence makes you miserable: ask for better support