Ever tried the Maria Kondo method? How about inside you? The same way that you would hold up an item within your home and decide whether or not it brings you joy – and only keep hold of that which really does bring you joy – have you considered doing the same with you feelings and emotions? Have you taken time to examine all of the baggage that you are carrying with you? Are you regularly letting go of that which no longer serves you?
Nelson Mandela was a great example of letting go of the past:
The reason that we do forgiveness and release work is to get free of the past!
Who is really suffering?
Many have described holding onto anger and resentment as “drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. When we fail to forgive, we hold onto the thoughts of revenge, anger, sadness, bitterness, resentment, shame, blame, & sorrow. We often feel a sense of frustration — or worse, judgement. Especially judgement of ourselves!
Why does this one event or person control my mood and how I feel about life?
If we allow it – these negative feelings and emotions will crowd out the positive! We can permit ourselves to be overwhelmed by sadness, a sense of injustice, or worse yet… bitternes. It shows up as anger, depression, anxiety and a lack of meaning and purpose.
How many times are you going to journal about this? How many times will you write this on a piece of paper and then burn it, only to find it has reared up its ugly head again later? Maybe even done two years of therapy – I know I did!
One of the problems we face in modern society is that we only want to feel the good – not the bad. So we are constantly looking for the blue pill. Trying to move on quickly, without having experienced the hurt and the pain!
What we resists, persists.
How many emotions have you “tucked away” into your body, rather than actually allowing them to flow? Everything is energy! Emotions = energy in motion. But we insist on stopping it – rather than allowing it to flow. Instead of flowing like a tide, we build retaining walls. And then we fail to understand how come the emotion got “stuck” and hasn’t moved on. And we haven’t moved on either!
Ask yourself this:
Have I carried this long enough? Am I ready to let it go?
To reclaim my power – instead of being powerless!
Are you sick of bringing that feeling and baggage with you to every other relationship in your life?
In the work that we do, we will acknowledge the pain and the accompanying physical sensations in your body. We will honour and recognise the pain. Naming it: “I am feeling ___________.” Because, in order to truly allow it to flow and to let go of it, we have to move it – bringing it to the surface so that it can move on.
Now, our brains are wired so that the greater the emotional impact of an event, the stronger the memory. So – the memory we have of a situation will be proportional to the emotional arousal of the situation. The stronger that moment emotionally – the stronger the memory!
Reclaim your power
Of course, we tend to rationalise our responses and down-play those emotions. Especially for events that happened as a child, we “understand” them now – but by brushing them off, we are not truly dealing with them. To release the negative energy you hold in your body, you have to recognise the feelings and acknowledge them – however childish they may now seem to you!
When you reach a place where you let go of the victim role – you can reclaim your personal power. But, in order to get control over your thoughts and feelings, you need to stop blaming others or yourself! You have to stop judging and “shoulding” yourself – “I shouldn’t feel this way”. Who is telling you “I should” or “I shouldn’t”? That inner critic – constantly judging you – does not allow you to release those emotions and set yourself free.
As long as we blame others – we tell ourselves and the world “I am powerless“.
What dreams and goals have you failed to pursue because you were powerless?
It takes a lot of strenth to forgive and let go!
Once you have completed the work of letting go, you will discover space within you for self-love and compassion. Forgiveness will provide relief from the pain – freedom to create meaning in your life.
Once free from those emotions and controlling thoughts – you will be free to develop a new definition of yourself – create your own reality. I hope that once you have worked through this, you will find a place where you have
- empathy for others
Of course, you will have to relinquish the right to dwelling on the past and those thoughts! Stop old thought patterns in their tracks and develop a new thought pattern.
As you stop blaming, you will stop using this excuse as a crutch – especially if it’s your “go to” story. The perfect excuse why you were never able to ____________.
Once you have completed the forgiveness work – you have to reclaim your power, and release the excuse.