I recently came face to face with some shadows of my past. While I took to blogging as part of my processing of my feelings, I also got in touch with two other mBraining coaches (Sarah & Wendy) that I regularly do sessions with and I asked for help to process my loss of direction. I needed assistance to get in touch with my naturally evolving wisdom.
I know the importance of dealing with these emotions and issues when they arise: one of the biggest mistakes I typically make is that I want to fix it for everyone else as well. Nonetheless, the only person that I can change and work on is me. I am responsible for how I respond and what I do.
Next right step
So, I found myself in a place where I needed clarity on “what is my next right step forward?”
The reason I turned to mBraining in this situation was that I didn’t just want to know “what do I think is the next right step forward?”. I wanted to be certain that what I was choosing was really, truly, deeply me and my best choice.
In mBraining, we start with the heart:
- what am I feeling? Acknowledge those emotions
- what do I want or desire? How would I like to feel as I work my way through this?
- what might be my desired outcome?
- who do I need to connect with? Which important relationships are impacted through my choice?
- what do I value in this exploration and choice?
From there, we then go to our logic, analysis, thinking & perception – the head brain. And we allow it to do what it does best – create solutions, imagine scenarios, analyse data and information, make meaning of what we have sensed, seen, heard or experienced.
But listening to perspectives does not stop at the head. We must also listen to the intelligence of our “second brain” – the gut. The gut is where we will find our mobilisation (motivation, courage & moving forward), self-preservation (immune system, security & safety), and our Core Identity (self / not-self).
Perspectives for evolving
mBraining gives us the opportunity to look at a situation and our response from multiple perspectives.
Ensuring that the how-we-choose-to-move-forward not only feels good but is also “a good idea”, brings in logic and analysis. This logic is often missing from hair-brained schemes started by the heart!
Looking from the perspective of our feelings, desires and wants is only one part of the picture. Likewise, if I tried to solve this only from the perspective of “what do I think” or “this is just a mindset problem“, I would be missing opportunities for wisdom to emerge.
Finally, checking to ensure that this meets our needs – proceeding safely and securely – is essential. Our decision making process should overcome any obstacles or fears that may appear along the way!
So, amazing peers coached me through this situation.
The emerging wisdom, when I aligned heart-head-gut: I wanted to connect with my childhood friends and be there to support them. At the same time, I needed to stay on track with my plans and goals. My head was full of words, that needed to come out. I needed to do some processing, and the best idea for me was to write my way through this.
Writing, for me, serves two purposes:
- It allows me to get all those jumbled words out of my head, and quiet down all those thoughts
- It allows me to share important stories and messages that others need to hear. I connect with readers: victims or family members that perhaps fail to understand what upsets the victims so badly.
So, when I sat with my perspectives, and multiple sources of intelligence, I gained clarity about what I wanted – connection and support of others; what I needed – stay on track with my goals and not get side-tracked by this; and I asked my very creative brain to come up with ways to create this.
When I finished my coaching session on Saturday, I had achieved great clarity.
- I wanted and needed to write. And I would give myself the gift of writing until there were no more words spilling out of my head.
- Additionally, I would reach out to my childhood friends, and check in with them – how were they doing? How could I best support them?
- And I would continue to focus my attention and energy on my goals and needs, rather than letting myself simply get “off-track” trying to “fix this” for everyone else.
At other moments in my life, I would have spent weeks “trying to help” all the others. I might fail to recognise that it was not what I wanted or needed. Likewise, the anger and pain I felt might have pulled me down. But this time I recognised I could channel those feelings productively – connection and writing.
Usually, in the end, I wind up frustrated and feeling guilty. Once again, I left to one side my goals and plans, to get involved in this “big issue”, while never actually accomplishing anything there either! And I would have spent days beating myself up for not living up to my own expectations in either arena.
Getting this clarity about my wants, desires, feelings & needs, and then choosing steps that would honor all of this, allowed me to move forward smoothly.
- I have blogged.
- I have connected with others from boarding school.
- And I have focused my time & energy on my business.
Right now – there are no more words jumbled around in my head that need to spill out on paper. My heart is happy for all the connection to others. And I am satisfied because I have spent productive time working on my dreams and goals.
mBraining – using your multiple brains to focus on all the important aspects of your life, finding the emerging wisdom that comes from multiple perspectives. And as this wisdom emerges, I evolve and grow.